Guinness Book of World Terrors

Here are a few highlights from the Guinness Book‘s Halloween-related records.

1. Over in the U.K., where our holiday originated (more on that later), an American driver and “GPS artist” drove 6,080 miles (that’s a lot of mix tapes and beef jerky!) to create the England-sized Halloween image below. “Over 264,000 positions were recorded with the Corsa’s GPS receiver and linked together like a virtual dot-to-dot drawing, using Great Britain as a giant canvas.”

Love it.

2. The highest-grossing horror film is NOT A HORROR FILM.

It’s … Twilight.

Oh no you didn’t!

(Before that, it was Saw III.)

3. This guy holds the world record for trapping the highest number of murdered souls inside jack-o-lanterns.

Just kidding. But he did carve ONE TON of (that’s at least 200) pumpkins in a row, in about 3 and 1/2 hours.

Though that was the record for volume, Mr. Clark later also snagged the record for speed by carving a pumpkin (“including eyes, nose, a mouth, and ears”) in 16.47 seconds.

I think it could’ve been 15 seconds if it weren’t for the ears. (Ears?? Why ears? Who does that??)

4. A sweet, meek little British lady holds the most ironic claim to fame: she has the loudest scream on record, at 129 decibels (for scale, you should know that a police whistle is 80 dBA and thunder is 120 dBA).

5. Finally, we have the Largest Clown Collection, owned by a German woman named Orty. (She’s the one with the big red nose.)

In 15 years she has adopted 2053 clown children, if you will. (And I do believe that’s the freakiest way I can say something that is already very, very freaky.)