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Halloween by the Year

Take a moment to marvel at House BeautifulHalloween timeline, which goes back one hundred years, all the way to 1916.

It allows you to see what our holiday was like the year you (or your parents, and even your grandparents!) were born. It’s also a source of interesting Halloween trivia, like the date of the first published mention of the phrase “trick or treat” (1927), the opening of Disney’s Haunted Mansion (1969), and the first year the United States tasted a Twix (1979).

 

 

 

HA!-lloween

As I write this post — in Salem, MA, no less — I am both joyful and wistful that it is mid-October. Joyful because we are situated snugly right in the middle of our Prime Month, the best month, perfectly enveloped within our favorite season. But also sad, since October is already halfway over! It’s already been going by WAY too fast.

If you agree, then I think it’s time to break out some Halloween-related humor! It’ll cheer us all up.

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  • First, have a good chuckle at the Onion‘s Halloween history timeline, starting with Native Americans’ discovery of pumpkins “while searching for a foyer adornment that would go well with dried cornstalks” and ending with the “eighth f***ing installment of the Saw franchise.” (Quick shout-out to my dear friend Monique, who sent me this link.)
  • Second, watch this hilarious Key & Peele sketch that takes us back to the early boardroom-planning phase of Gremlins 2 The best part is that the ludicrous and seemingly random plot ideas they describe while spitballing are in the actual movie itself!
  • Thirdly, here’s a collection of funny images, starring Slenderman, the IKEA-catalog version of Freddy, pets, and more signs of the impending pumpkin-spice-ocalypse.

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Freak Rock

What could be spookier than haunting doom-metal-style covers of popular hits of the 80s, as performed by …

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The Chipmunks?!?!

Believe it. Not only will these versions give you nightmares, but they were created by simply slowing down the Chipmunks songs to normal speed. (Yes, that means that the pure sonic evil you’re about to hear is how the songs were originally recorded!)

Click each track below to hear the song. But heed my advice: Don’t listen to them alone!

 

 

 

 

For more slowed-down Chipmunks tracks, see Chipmunkson16speed’s Soundcloud site.

Dark Honey

Yum. Look at these mouthwatering and perfectly autumnal concoctions by culinary artist Tanya Balyanitsa. I’ve hand-picked some recipes for you below, but even just ogling her photographs is a sensory experience. Feast thine eyes on these images!

This gorgeous food photography is worthy of those classic Martha Stewart Living October magazines. (Remember those? Back when they devoted an entire issue to Halloween? Sigh.)

Damn, this website makes cooking in an insufficiently lit kitchen look SO good! And the fall-inspired ingredients make for superb October meals. Click each image below to view its recipe.

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Pumpkin brioche.

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Artichoke and eggplant tart.

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Chocolate crepes made with dark beer.

 

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Pumpkin-chorizo crumble.

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Pumpkin chocolate-chip cookies.

All images from the Honeytanie site.

Lost in Translation

 

Some European posters for American horror films stray so far from the movie’s premise that they seem to evoke whole new stories of their own.

Can you tell which movie each poster below is advertising? The answers are written below each image.

Poster 1:

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Translation: This is the poster for The Omen, via the Czech Republic. (And hey, that’s how Satan wrote his name in my yearbook too!)

Poster 2:

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Translation: Opcy (sadly, not Orgy) is what they call the Alien series in Poland. But I daresay this poster might be an illustration of someone’s acid flashback of the film rather than the film itself.

Poster 3:

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Translation: This is a poster for Christine, also designed in Poland, but you’d only know it by the name at the top. Unless that’s supposed to be the grill of a car, as imagined by H.R. Giger. In which case, the Polish Christine is a Christine I’d love to see.

 

Poster 4:

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Translation: This is the Spanish poster for The Shining (I’m pretty sure “resplandor” means “radiance,” giving it a slightly different spin). It’d also make one hell of a hipster tee shirt.

Poster 5:

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Translation: The Birds, Czech Republic style … and apparently in some alternate universe. Even after seeing Hitchcock’s name at the top, and verifying that “ptaci” is Czech for “birds,” it’s still hard to believe this art was ever inspired by that film.

More non-English film poster designs here and here.

 

Any horror fans out there?? I’m just taking a wild guess here, but I think there might be a few.

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If so, here’s a little trivia quiz I created for you on Buzzfeed that will test your knowledge of scary movies, and your eye for cinematic details.

Give it a try! Good luck and have fun.

Images via the 365 Days of Horror Tumblr.

Commercial Nostalgia

Here are my favorites from Dinosaur Dracula‘s incredible, vast library of 80s Halloween commercials (and I watched ’em ALL).

  • Someone build me a time machine, because I NEED TO GO TO RALEY’S!

  • Everybody loves the “Ghostbusters” song … it’s no wonder Coke commandeered it to push their soda. Watch for the totally unwarranted Bill Cosby cameo at the end.

  • Warning: If you don’t wear deodorant, you will smell like a corpse.

  • Little Red Riding Hood, re-imagined as a Fonda-esque workout babe … on rollerskates. I like how the wolf rejects diet soda, but LOVES that sugar-free Dr. Pepper!

If you like these, there are dozens more at Dinosaur Dracula’s YouTube channel.