Bustin’ Makes Me Feel Good

Question: What does this song by Huey Lewis and the Ghostbusters anthem by Ray Parker Junior have in common?? Answer: A bassline. Which is apparently enough to warrant a lawsuit. Summer, 1984. Everyone’s shoes contained some form of Velcro, “Where’s the beef?” and “I’ll be back” were common parlance, and restaurants didn’t have automatic faucets. […]

Current and Impending Horror

Grab the popcorn! Here’s a list of this season’s freshest cinematic scares. Malignant (currently streaming): Though it’s not flawless, I thoroughly enjoyed every second of this bonkers new James Wan flick. It very well might be my favorite work of his since Dead Silence. Candyman (currently streaming): I can’t recommend this political-horror work of art […]


Controversial topic: The yard inflatable. I used to dislike this form of outdoor decoration. Most are silly-looking, too cute, or garish, and they all tend to look like large used condoms strewn upon the grass when they’re deflated. Nevertheless, I find myself considering buying one this year, for the first time EVER. The designs have […]

Grown-Up Gothic

If you’re anything like me, you’re getting ready to transform your abode into an eerie wonderland of black and orange. This year, I find myself drawn to the more elegant and understated seasonal finery sold at stores I can’t really afford. But hey, I can still window shop! Let’s take a virtual stroll together. WEST […]


Ladies and gentlemen, I have found a new incense. It’s an entirely different form of burnable fragrance than what we’re used to in the U.S. And although it’s new to me, it’s actually a product that was invented back in 1885, and is still made in the same process by the same French company to […]

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Have you seen the new Candyman sequel yet?? If not, you really must! It’s a visually stunning film that is as terrifying as it is relevant to the class disparities currently still haunting the United States. As you are likely aware, the evil baddie in the original 1992 Candyman was a hooked-handed predator who entered […]


Welcome, one and all!! Come on in. September is upon us! You know what that means: The Skeleton Key is BACK. And guess what, everybody?? This year is the blog’s 10TH ANNIVERSARY! Let’s take a moment to celebrate the past DECADE together with some deep cuts! Listed below are a few of my most popular […]

Happy Halloween!

I’m writing this just after midnight on Friday. Here are a few glimpses of what it’s like to be in my house tonight, on Devil’s Night. What is it about this holiday that I love? I’m asked this question every fall. I’ve realized it’s that element of the unexpected that this time of year brings. […]

Liquid Gold

I’m hooked on a spooky-delicious new cocktail this season: the Caramel Apple Mule. This divine concoction is a spin on the Moscow Mule, that ice-cold copper mug of ginger beer, vodka, and lime. Yet it far surpasses the original. Whereas the Moscow Mule is a pleasant beverage after mowing the lawn in June, the Caramel […]