Pet Cemetery


Photo by John Kenji Mac.

Chilling excerpts from the Spooked podcast, Season 4 Episode 7, “Pet Cemetery” (story narrated by Dr. Ray Christian):

“My mother knew I was burying animals, but she never really said anything to me about it until one day. She got on the bus and she looked outside, and other people were pointing, saying, ‘Oh my god, is that a cemetery?’

At that point, each grave was probably about maybe two feet long and maybe a foot wide. So they weren’t like teeny miniatures, they were like big size. No matter what size the animal was — if it was a little mouse — I would have a mound that would be at least two feet long and a cardboard headstone. Put twenty of those in there, and it looks like … well, I thought I did a good job of making it look just like what I wanted it to look like.

When she came home, she told me that it was scaring people. That thing looked real. TOO real.

I still maintained the cemetery. I still pulled up the weeds. I still tried to make sure the rows were neat. I replaced the crosses with these cardboard posters that used to be up on walls to promote shows and things like that. I’d pull them down and tear them up into the shape of a tombstone, and I would write PARROT, DOG, CAT.

Source unknown.

I was the kind of kid that was always looking in the trees, looking on the ground for animals. One day I was walking through an alley, and I saw a ball of fur in a tree. Not normal — that was not a cat. And I get closer.

Then I realize it’s a monkey. And it’s wet, and it’s shaky, and it’s all trembling. And here it is in a tree in my neighborhood! It doesn’t really move, and I see its eyes blinking. I think about climbing the tree, but that monkey starts going crazy.

I wanted to get the monkey. I thought that if me, nice me — Dr. Doodle of the Black Ghetto! — was gonna climb up in that tree, then that monkey was gonna go, ‘Oh, it’s you!’ and he was gonna climb down like on TV and get on my shoulder, and I was gonna take him home.

But that monkey was insane, and gave me the message ‘I’ll bite you apart if you touch me.’

Several weeks had passed and I didn’t see the monkey anymore, and I’m walking through the alley, and I see some bones, a piece of cardboard. I’m always curious enough to see what kind of animal might be under there.

When I kick the piece of cardboard off the carcass, it’s the monkey.

Photo by Lost America.

I’m disappointed, but I have the realization that I have a dead monkey. Next to having a live monkey as a pet, I wouldn’t say it was one of my dreams, but this is the rarest … I’d never have another opportunity to bury a monkey.

The monkey was starting to fall apart, and it just reeked, its liquidy substance on my arms. So I did get the monkey to the cemetery, and I dug the grave.

I put up the cardboard: MONKEY. I was proud of that.

In the many weeks that followed, large groups of us would kind of join each other heading toward the school at the same time, all of us that walked.

And I remember a group of kids saying: ‘I wonder what happened to that baby. The one in the alley. The body. What do you think happened to it? Somebody must’ve moved it.’

To listen to the episode, click here.

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