Never Come Between a Woman and Her Wreath

Have you seen a wreath like this??

Screen Shot 2019-10-09 at 11.57.36 PM

On the fateful night of October 6th, a wreath similar to the one above was stolen off of the basement-level exterior door of a woman’s apartment in Boston’s South End.

Now the search is on for a thief skulking through the city, wreath in arm, leaving behind a trail of black glitter.

The wreath’s owner has posted the flyer below on, presumably, every windshield and vertical surface in the area (so far she has printed 1,300 such bulletins):

Screen Shot 2019-10-09 at 11.53.00 PM

According to Boston.com, the distressed victim reported that the wreath wasn’t even lit at the time of its disappearance, so it would have been barely detectable in the dark hours of night. The next morning, the string that formerly hung the decoration was eerily cut clean.

Therefore, she is convinced this was a premeditated crime. “I have had nightmares of someone in dark clothing carrying it away, laughing maniacally,” she said.

So to all you wreath-nappers out there: Prepare to be hunted down like the “spineless bastard” you are. We Halloween home decorators don’t mess around.

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