Pet Peeve

At the risk of being a wet blanket, I gotta tell y’all that there’s one decorative trend that just rubs me the wrong way:

Skeleton animals.

You’ve seen what I’m talking about at Target, HomeGoods, Michaels, wherever. Plastic bones in the vague shape of critters, pets, and even insects. They’ve infested precious shelf space for the last few years, and I say NO MORE.

I’ve given it some thought and can’t figure exactly what I have against these particular items. I may have no better reason than the fact I think they’re just plain ugly.

Perhaps this unsightliness comes from the fact that they’re so anatomically incorrect. I present to you Exhibit A: Cat.

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 11.01.01 PM.png

Well, this looks like a chihuahua, not a feline at all. For comparison, below is an anatomically accurate cat skeleton. Note the length of the spine and the small skull. Also, ears are not included, because ears are cartilage, not bony horns protruding off the skull.

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 10.59.27 PM.png

Plus, despite the product details’ desperate plea that this makes a fun addition to your decor!, is there honestly anything more depressing than the thought of a kitten skeleton?

Exhibit B: Rat

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 11.26.07 PM.png

Did the design team and creators of this product even do a 3-second Google search like I just did?? Because if they had, they’d find this:

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 11.24.29 PM.png

C’mon people. You can give it some Mickey Mouse ears, but it really doesn’t read “rat” unless it has those super creepy rodent teeth. What a wasted opportunity.

Exhibit C: Flamingo

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 10.50.22 PM.png

This one’s not even trying to look remotely real. It’s clearly a pink lawn flamingo that the retailer (Grandin Road) slapped black and white paint on so they could sell it off-season.

Exhibit D: Spider 

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 11.14.54 PM.png

Guess what? You just spent $18.79 on a lie. Spiders don’t even have endoskeletons!!!! They’re an exoskeleton species, with a hard outer shell. Which is hardly ever white in color and certainly doesn’t include a ribcage.

And with that, I rest my case.

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14 thoughts on “Pet Peeve

  1. I have the same opinion. I was complaining about it to a friend about the bone ears and all the other issues, and he told me that it has to be “dumbed down” for the general public…. Bone ears….it mystifies….

  2. I personally don’t like them but kids *love* skeletons and adults want something less expensive, less macabre, and smaller to store (not too many skeletons fit in the closet). Why not critters? They’re full of that whimsy that reminds us that Halloween is a celebration with no restrictions, no rules (other than Sam’s rules), and unmoored by what is “real” (ahem, witch ghosts, talking pumpkins, and zombie grandmas)? Plus real skeleton anatomy is gross, disturbing and a clear reminder of the death. I would never purchase any of those if available. If this plastic oddities inspire people to decorate for Halloween then why not? Some effort is better than no effort.

    • Good point, ScareJer! And I do usually share the perspective that anything Halloween is intrinsically awesome. 🙂 And hey, a plastic critter skeleton is better than nothing!

      • Is it though? I think cheap plastic Halloween consumables cheapen the holiday and its rich history, and our heritage as a people. I think it also perpetuates the consumerist element and furthers the co-opting of this beautiful celebration by capitalist interests with no real meaning offered in return. Plus this celebration originated as an Earth-based celebration of fall and the coming dark, and remains a celebration of life, a kind of whistling in the dark. Yet all this plastic is anti-Earth and anti-life, in that it’s toxic and will never ever biodegrade. The best we can hope for is photodegradation if conditions are right, where the polymers break down into smaller and smaller pieces, but remain intact, entering the water and food chains and toxifying life throughout the trophic levels. And even if they’re kept in a closet to be used every year for a lifetime, all of it will end up in a landfill at some point.

        Alternatives include decorations of paper, wood and tin. Or homemade decorations that hold meaning and can be passed on. Or at least plastic decorations that hold more meaning than cheap Target attempts at profit through non-anotomically correct anamalia.

        IMHO, of course 🙂

      • You have a point too, Ryan! Thanks for sharing your opinion; all are welcome, of course! And I definitely think homemade decorations are a GREAT idea.

  3. Yes! I agree, and I think the worst are the latest wave which include dinosaur and even Saber Tooth tiger skeletons. What? Those aren’t scary, they belong in a museum and have nothing to do with Halloween?

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